Lifehacks for Fat Cats

You know how it is with those fat cats, right?

They hear the cat food open and come running, bury their face in the bowl like they haven’t eaten since, well, lunch. Two minutes later they are puking on the kid’s bed. And if you dared to make him wait an hour past the normal feeding time? He’d puke twice. The second always a sneaky puddle of clear liquid that leaves your socks soaked …

Binge & Purge. Binge & Purge.

I have been getting quite tired of it … we have 3 cats and the other two are sleek little cats who have healthy body images and were never called Fatty McCatty in elementary school. But poor Zorro is very often referred to as simply “fat cat”. Which I worry has caused his apparent eating disorder.

He’s the sweetest lapcat though … would probably make a holiday meal for a coyote if he ever ventured outside. The other two are wiley hunters while “fat cat” just sleeps on his back all day. When he’s not binging and purging that is.

Chief Lap Cat & Child Warmer

Chief Lap Cat & Child Warmer

Today I’d had enough. If he’d just slow down, fercryingoutloud!

Then I remembered back in the day when I was riding and training horses, we’d often get a horse that ate its food so fast it would choke. (Horses can’t puke, unlike cats and drunk 18-year olds at the Prime Minister’s residence.) To slow the silly bastards down we’d put very large stones in their feed bin so they’d have to eat around them.

*light bulb moment!*Oprah-ah-HA! Moment!*

Eat around these, suckas!

Eat around these, suckas!

Since we have three cats, they all got some of these little balls in their dishes. They are little plastic balls filled with fluid that you freeze and put in your drink so it doesn’t water it down … pretty sure I found them at Superstore or the Dollar Store.

Now, I’ll warn you… if you can’t handle a little “WTF?!” glare from your cats, this might not work for you.

In fact, the fat cat actually walked away from the bowl, dramatically looking over his shoulder with dismay that He Could Not Be Made To Eat Difficult Food, and now He Would Starve. Cue Sad Cat Diaries.

Eventually he returned, ate slower and DID NOT PUKE.

He’s not going to starve … and I’m going to wash fewer socks and blankets now that his apparent Feline Bulimia has been cured.

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